PROPER BEHAVIOR BY PARENTS
AS PER GREG DALE, Ph. D. Duke University
In Leadership and Sports Psychology
For those of you who missed the presentation by Dr. Gale last Thursday, I wanted to list some things he had mentioned as to “The Fulfilling Ride”-A Parent’s Guide to Helping Athletes Have a Successful Sport Experience.
“I am amazed, sometimes even shocked, at what I hear some parents say about children from their son or daughter’s own team. They don’t really care who might be listening or whose feelings they might hurt with the things they say.” A Parent of a child that plays a sport…
Be Respectful of Other Parents and Their Children: Two examples: “Why is the coach putting that kid in the game? He can’t play!” or she always seems to choke when the pressure is on at the end of the game. “Coach better not put her in again or we will lose.” PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT…when you make negative statements about an athlete, his parents are very likely sitting within range to hear you. Think about how it would make you feel if you heard someone saying something negative about your son or daughter.
Another situation that raises its ugly head is when a parent of one team applauds a mistake made by an athlete on the other team.
Representing Your Child’s Team: While you are not actually a member of your child’s team, you do represent his or her team and the organization or school that supports it. As parents, we encourage our children to be positive ambassadors for their teams and all the entities that support them. They have the right to expect the same from us.
When Others Are Embarrassed To Sit Next To You. This is a no-brainer. The importance of modeling good sportsmanship and general respect for all people involved in a competition is paramount. One telltale sign that you need to police your own behavior at athletic events is when your spouse or significant other, family members or friends are too embarrassed to sit next to you because of the way you act.
Do You Have a Life of Your Own, Outside Your Child’s Sport?
You Attend Most or All Practices
Your Circle of Friends is Limited to the Parents of Other Athletes.
The Main Topic of Conversation at Mealtime Is Your Child’s Sport.
You Spend Time on the Internet Discussing Your Child’s Team or Coach
Avoid Basing Your Self-Esteem and Ego on Your Child’s Performance.
Your Mood Depends on Your Child’s Performance.
You Have Fallen Into the “We” Syndrome
PLEASE ENJOY THE SEASON. ENJOY YOUR CHILD AT PLAY. ROOT FOR THE TEAM AND NOT JUST YOUR CHILD. DO NOT UNDERMINE THE COACH BY ASKING YOUR CHILD TO AGREE WITH YOUR PERSPECTIVES. COACHES ARE TRYING TO DO THE BEST THAT THEY POSSIBLY CAN. PLEASE DO NOT HINDER THAT.
LET THE COACHES COACH, THE OFFICIALS OFFICIATE and THE PLAYERS PLAY.
Your kid’s success or lack of success in sports does not indicate what kind of parent you are… But having an athlete that is COACHABLE, RESPECTFUL, A GREAT TEAMMATE, MENTALLY TOUGH, RESILIENT AND WHO TRIES THEIR BEST…is a direct reflection of your parenting.
Sincerely, Jim Amen Jr.